…wearing a ‘clinic’ free mask I found in a coat pocket meanwhile. And when mine come black, fabric—I’m going to have Jane paint or embroider a ‘smiling kitty’ nose on it. Those of you with cats are free to copy. 🙂 And dog fanciers, maybe a doggy nose with a lappy tongue?
Getting a new mask soon
by CJ | Apr 9, 2020 | Journal | 151 comments
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This morning’s pre-dawn adventure was one of the kittens getting behind the washing machine during the enthusiasm while getting their breakfast. By the time I’d moved boxes and cat food and the laundry basket, and counted noses to see who was missing, expecting to move the washer and scare everyone — the kitten had gotten him/herself out and everyone had eaten and were all curious about what might be going on with the washing machine. Mama and four kittens were all intent on the thing.
Goober was stil lounging, awaiting breakfast, and hadn’t poached their bowls. He ought to have the right; they steal his often enough. I guess he didn’t feel that foolhardy or famished. He’s in here eating dry food while I type.
Once the crew have moved off from the washing machine, it’s a perfect time to sweep out and maybe mop, then wash their bowls, and then either go back to bed or stay up. It’s already past 6:00am.
Yesterday, some of the delayed cat food and other deliveries arrived in three clumps, so as if I didn’t have too many boxes already, now I have it overcrowded and need to unbox those and throw out the boxes ruined in transit, and consolidate their food and supplies.
Kroger’s still has no delivery slots, but until I have some more order and space, I’m ignoring that. But if and when I get the local friends, I am going to have to ask about pickup and delivery in order to get groceries in next week. The kittens still don’t have their 2nd and last round of shots, but will get them before or while being boarded, if that happens after the 1st.
Now to sweep and shower and probably try to sleep, since I had at most five hours in the last 24.
Doing OK but still not fully packed because…I don’t know why; I should be perfectly ready by now. Maybe I can get remaining items packed, plus get the closets stuffed into sacks or boxes, and have boxes ready to pack up the kitchen and bathroom items. Nuts. Assuming anything happens right after the 1st; I don’t know yet and need to check state and local news about the shutdown status.
I am sincerely glad the kitten did not get hurt in any way and got loose. I don’t know at al which kitten it was as no one’s showing the worse for wear. They are, oh, having a ball with things having been moved and the space by the washer and dryer blank for the moment before moving anything around again and after needing to sweep.
Well, I will have earned my keep for the day early, I guess, with a cleaner kitchen.
I had visions of getting reduced down more than I was before the start of the year, but by the time I get more done, it’s likely it’ll look more like a warehouse than an apartment. If and when I can get the kittens and mama given away, then I can resubmit the maintenance requests that have gone unfulfilled since before and after the change in management. But depending on how things work out, maybe we can just get it all cleaned out and ready to hand over after moving out, assuming we don’t have an extension of the shutdown.
(A couple of interruptions, so I’m just now posting at 6:30am. Likely 7:30am by the time I’m done sweeping and mopping in there, unless I miss my estimate.)
8:10am — The day’s festivities: Today is one of those days you wish you’d “stood” in bed, as the old saying goes. (Apparently, stood is old dialect for stayed in that expression. I’ve heard it both ways, with “stood” as older British and American dialectal forms that (I guess) got confused with or etymologically related between “to stay” and “to stand.”) Wow, my mind is filled with weird trivia.
Only after getting the kittens’ bowls soaked and rinsed and while emptying the dishpan did I find out that the disposal has stopped working. Two days ago, it tried to eat a plastic scrubber. I caught it early and extracted the scrubber and thought all was well. I guess not. So now the thing is draining grey water slowly, with bits of cat food in the disposal cup where the blades are. (Yes, it’s turned off at the off switch.) Once it rains, I’lll try to scoop out the muck of cat food and rinse, so it can be loosely OK for a maintenance guy, if one ever comes out, when I report it. Until then, I’ll be doing dishes in another dishpan, looks like, and way more careful than usual with rinsing off dishes. Nuts.
I swept the kitchen but not the breakfast./dining area, and I didn’t mop. Yet. Pending the sink cleanup.
I unboxed a few things and found ugh, one box from last week from Petco, damaged at the bottom, but not by the cats, it’s plainly in shipping. I had opened the box the other day and one of the cats had gotten to the dry food before I’d gotten it into containers. But even so, under this, what should have been untouched, had a layer of grainy stuff. It didn’t smell like insect residue. Don’t know what it was, but not good. Cleaned that out and bagged it after deconstructing the box. Some other boxes unpacked, assorted trash collected. — But it’s still raining hard and still very dark out. I think even so, I am going to put on a work shirt and take what trash there is out to the dumpster.
Undecided when to report the garbage disposal or if it will do any good. I’ll want to re-report the other items at that time.
Goober was so impressed with it all, he yowled in that, oh, I’m gonna hurl, and promptly did. Cleaned that up. I gave him one of the doses of flea med last night. It’s above his weight, but I thought it was a risk I could take. I didn’t catch Peppercorn asleep, so she did not get the other dose. I nearly mistook one of the kittens for her, but caught it before piercing the vial and giving him the dose. That would have been way too much of a risk Hoping their flea meds get here before the 4th so they’ll be protected.
I am going to scrub Ducky again to catch any more I didn’t on the first pass. Yes, I said scrub Ducky. He really got a fun name. I doubt he will keep it with his new owners down the line.
I am now undecided whether any of the kittens are bonded to me or if all of them are so used to me that it doesn’t matter to them. But I’m not sure any of them feels any particular tie to me. Mama Peppercorn likes it here, but is still too unpredictable and too prone to be aggressive, going all out when she does, so I can’t keep her with my eyesight. I feel too nervous about her, even though most of the time, she’s fine. The kittens are all good, with only Unicorn’s jump/climb habit, which has lessened.
Goober hangs out with them all sometimes now, but any time a kitten gets too close, too much into his business, he fusses and sometimes hisses and swats. They mind him. That’s all it is but he and they still have not made friends.
So I don’t know if I should keep Dubhan and Wizard. I’ve considered Ducky. All the kittens are nice, but I no longer know if they want to stay, if one feels especially at home here. All of them, however, spend some time in my room and all throughout the apt. all day, but none of them have slept on the ed since mama kitty got home, except for very brief naps.
The rain’s let up enough to get to the dumpster and back. No large load, just a few things.
My eyes are really tired but I haven’t done anything. I don’t know if I’ll try to sleep. I wish all the repairs were done. I wish I was completely packed and cleaned up. I wish the new hose was all done and rwas moved in. (Wow, I guess the conditional / subjunctive mode really deader than I thought. I know better, but I just typed all that in indicative instead.)
When you flip the disposall on, does it hum or otherwise indicate it’s trying to run? I don’t know if you can see to do this, but if it sounds like the motor is trying to go, there is usually a socket on the outside right under the rim where you can put in an Allen wrench and manually crank the blades past their stuck point. Make sure the disposall is OFF. Once you do that, 9 times out of 10 the grinder will work again.
I called one of those local friends, who was unclear but said there’s a switch under. the unit. I felt around under the sink at the yoke / neck and didn’t find a switch, though of course the unit is right there. I can’t see behind it within the sink to tell, but I expect there’s something there.
Nope, no sound from the disposal at all, as if it’s tripped something. No whine or hum like a motor trying to run. And oddly, the gasket with flaps that admits the gunk down into the chamber ought to come loose, but I didn’t get it out. I’ll try again later.
It did drain slightly better on a second pass, but oh, it’s dead as a doornail as far as I can tell.
I called about a broken glass or bottle in the parking lot and found one number for the office is active and another is “temporarily disconnected.” No idea when they’ll send a groundskeeper, since one came by this morning as usual, and didn’t get all of it, probably due to the storm/
—–
My friend recommended Instacart for groceries; his wife said that’s what they’ve been using. I see now there are a few (spotty) times available at Kroger’s, but I don’t absolutely need groceries again yet, so I’m going to wait a few days and hope it’ll still be available. I’ll also likely try Instacart. If anyone else has used it, I’d appreciate knowing what they thought of it, both the website hunt-and-gather and the checkout and delivery. My friend also recommended Chewy.com, when I said how underwhelmed I was with Petsmart and Petco. — I’ve now had two Petco deliveries arrive with damaged boxes and/or with residue of some kind inside, for of gritty, not cat litter and not (I think not) insect detritus, but it did not reassure me finding that, esp. since I didn’t know what it was. Petsmart’s website is odd, to me, about logging in and not remembering anything, and their interface in general. Petco’s website is better, but their menus above tend to open when you roll the mouse over them, which interferes with what you’re actually trying to do, under there.
—–
I gave Ducky another partial bath scrub today. I did not get his head and neck and tail and legs, just his back from shoulders to root of the tail. I used too many drops of Dawn and did get it out of his fur and the cloth, but while drying him, I found places I didn’t get. I rubbed him dry with another towel and held him a while, to keep him warm and dry, which he liked. During the bathing, he got loose and tipped over a bowl of dry food on the newly-swept floor. No good deed goes unpunished, I guess. So he is not as entirely clean as I’d thought, and I will need to give him another bath. But darn, I don’t think I have another light colored washcloths or hand towels. anyway, he’ll get a scrub before he gets his flea med. The other kittens are OK, I think, but I will check again today. Mama seems OK.
—–
Chondrite. glad to hear your husband’s company is getting help. With things as they are, small businesses will need help the most.
BCS, disposers often have both a overload trip/breaker and a mechanical assist on them.
‘No Sound’ suggests the breaker is open, but it may be that the unit is simply jammed.
Usually there is a hexagonal allen wrench either clipped to the unit, or there in the undersink cabinet (in a rental unit, obviously, it’s anyone’s guess). The wrench fits into a socket in the base of the disposer unit, this can be used to break free a unit which has become jammed in trying to chew something too big for it; you can also use the wrench to walk the unit back to unstick, but in such a case it might be necessary to reach into the unit (pull plug first!) to pull out the offending object.
We got some very good news last night. DH’s business got bypassed during the first round of Paycheck Protection Program government grants. This stung, because much bigger businesses (including one DH had helped submit the paperwork for said grant) were getting money, and not the businesses that the program was supposed to help. Everything has been slow since mid March, and the cash flow has been looking rather dire. We didn’t have much hope for the smaller next round of grants. At 10:00 last night, our bank sent DH an e-mail saying the grant had gone through and the business had been approved for the max amount. This is a load off our minds, and I hope anyone else who needs the money receives what they need.
That is indeed good news. Congrats.
Sometimes I think that they consider anyone who employs fewer than the state and federal governments as small, and anyone who is able to contribute several million to campaign funds as ‘too big to fail’,
I also get annoyed when politicians forget who employs them,
This is very good to hear! A small, anti-foreclosure advocacy non-profit that I am on the board of also submitted a request during the 2nd round (monies got snapped up before we submitted the first round). We haven’t heard yet. Massachusetts small businesses fared quite poorly (34 in the nation) during the 1st round.
Chondrite, that is good to hear.
The way the US Congress tries to rig everything so big business can make an unequal amount of profit from it, even in this crisis, looks quite blinkered to me.
Over here in Europe, Denmark and Poland have put some very specific limits on the businesses who can apply for their government support: those registered in tax havens (and which have thus avoided paying their reasonable part of taxes before, that are needed now to support everyone during these difficult times) will not be eligible for this aid.
Seems a reasonable exclusion of freeloaders to me; I wish the entire European Union put in similar exclusion clauses.
Lord…. If I didn’t want to move before, I sure do want to now. I don’t know quite what happened, but nearby in the parking lot, across from me and down, a serious scene.
I heard a slam, a big dog barking, yells and screams from men, women, maybe kids involved. I wasn’t sure if it was an apartment door, but later, I think it turned out that it was a car door. I still don’t know what really happened, within the last few minutes. But I think the dog nearly got on or bit someone, and people were trying to extricate themselves and the dog. Who’s to blame for what, or if it was all accidental, I don’t know. But I’m afraid someone got hurt. As near as I can tell, no one is too angry at anyone now, but may be later. — And now I’m hearing that someone hit the dog, which may have been what started it. Very big dog, from the sound of it, at least one, likely male from the sound, one of the breeds built big and tough, German Shepherd or Doberman Pinscher or similar. (And I view a German Shepherd as not too far from the general dog wild type near to a wolf. I also don’t believe they are inherently mean.)
It’s already cleared out mostly, with people talking after. — Enough away from me that I don’t quite know and didn’t see, but people crossed near my apt. during.
I’m not worried or scared of a dog or my neighbors. I know better than to provoke a dog, and generally, animals like me, dogs, cats, whatever. But this was serious and alarming and too much. I don’t know what’s going to happen, and I do’t know how badly or if people were hurt. But my gosh. I also don’t know if it was the dog’s owner who hit the dog, or another person, or if kids were in the middle of it. But hearing the dog angry, hearing men and women yelling and screaming, anger and fear over their personal safety and at each other, and that someone likely got jumped or hurt…wow, alarming.
I also did not want to stick my head out during, and although I want to know what happened, I don’t want to stir anyone up or get them thereby arguing with each other.
I had to report earlier to the office that a glass or bottle was broken and had been missed by the groundskeeping maintenance people in the rain this morning. I stepped on it (thankfully not hard) in ordinary sneakers, which is how I knew it was there, between apartments from the last couple of days. But the is near my apartment and the other one or two near me, not in the scene of trouble just now. I don’t know if staff came by and swept it up. At least I reported it.
I hope no one was seriously hurt and I hope the dog doesn’t get ordered to be put down. I also hope the owner and whoever was involved don’t carry a serious grudge match or anger against each other. And…there are a lot of kids around here, so I hope they’re OK. I recognized one or two of the voices, but I don’t know their names with the voices or their faces.
Well…no shot fired, no knives that I know of. I think it was just the people and the dog, not that that’s any good. I take it now that there wasn’t a forced entry to an apartment. I don’t know either if it was a “domestic dispute,” but I don’t think so. I think it was between two people, neighbors or in contact frequently.
So…good Lord, heaven help us all, that was — probably the closest I’ve been to real, direct violence.
Maybe I should hope. the _dog_ is all right. Sheesh. But I hope the people are all right. And if someone did deliberately hit the dog, anger, then I hope that person gets a serious talking to from some source that will do some good. I sure hope it didn’t result in people getting hurt and having serious anger toward each other to build up and erupt later. — Maybe it’ll be regarded as an accident. There were several people involved. I don’t know if there were bystanders to witness it. I didn’t see it directly; I only heard it, and I felt it would be a bad move to go out there during things going on.
Man… Just hope it’ll be OK. But this is another big reason to want to move, to rent or own my own place. My gosh, I hope they will be all right. I sure hope my move goes fine and I can stay there, against all odds.
Kitten Update — 2020-04-29 WED 07:20pm
OK, I didn’t see that one coming. — Betweeen 3pm and 4pm, I got a knock on my door. It turned out to be José, the teen neighbor and source of mama and kittens. And then his girlfriend, so we were introduced. — And the reason? A very tiny bundle of fur, a kitten they said they’d seen dumped from a car. The kitten is maybe under 8 weeks old, scrawny, and they’d guessed, a runt. Emaciated, more like it. Fleas, burrs from weeds, adirt, flecks of white of unknown kind, might be soap, and the kitten will need a more thorough going over as soon as I can. A tabby, a boy, grey,/silver, with a lot of black currently. Not calico tortoiseshell. — Would I take him? Oh My Goodness. — Yes, I couldn’t not, I’m a soft-hearted idiot, what do you expect?
I think I can get him through the night and will have to get him to the vet tomorrow for a checkup, and to see if maybe they have a nursing mama cat who could foster him if need be. Otherwise, I have a very different challenge indeed. This little one is going to need very frequent feedings, litterbox or other potty care (when they are very small, they need to be gently physically stimulated to go. The mama licks them and cleans them. Humans use a warm wet tissue or cloth. Water. And almost constant attention and togetherness, for warmth and for the love and attention a kitten needs to survive.
This little one is too tiny for a collar, and I’m not used to that for kittens anyway, until the all-black quintet. And that’s a problem: Instant alert from all the cats, though mama wanted to check outside when I went in with the kitten. I had to put the kitten in a carrier, fast, get mama back in, and I believe I have all five kittens in. — But a very tentative exposure of this new kitten to mama yielded a hiss and growl, and so I got the kitten and myself away fast but with aplomb, so as not to escalate or spook them. — Goober also hissed. I guess he’s had his fill of kittens. But he is, for the moment, in the room with me and the new kitten, with the door closed. I expect to have to put him out of the bedroom tonight. Clearly the kitten has to stay with me and sleep right with me. — The kitten being in the carrier produced separation anxiety so severe that the kitten had drooled or peed by the time I got back, and I was afraid for a minute there he/she (he, I think) had hurt himself against the carrier. But no, he’s OK.
The girlfriend said she’d fed him from a kitten baby bottle, but the kitten had punctured the nipple. OK, that could actually be a good sign, that he can. Teeth are in. Eyes are open, he’s walking, she said. Yep, all true. His eyes are still kitten blue. She’d fed him an hour ago. I asked to borrow the little bottle so I could feed him. — I am going to have to order kitten formula, and meanwhile, water and maybe-maybe milk (or not) and moist kitten food. — I let him try moist food straight. He was starved, piled into it, and I’ve washed his front after that. I moved him away after consuming around a third of the three ounce can, because I was afraid he’d eat too much if I didn’t limit it. He didn’t drink the water I offered in a bowl, so we will work on that, bottle or bowl, until we get that right. I haven’t yet tried the litterbox or stimulation, but will when he wakes up again.
I have had him right up against me except for that. I gave him a preliminary rinse and wrapped him in ahand towel after drying that. But I need to make sure any more burrs, flea residue, or anything else is cleaned up, so he’ll be all clean and warm and dry.
I am thinking he’s healthy enough to make it through the night. Getting a cab to get him to the vet is going to be a problem, but he has to be seen to.
Not sure how we’re going to work this. Maybe he can be boarded and fostered until I can get him back. But it’s clear I can’t risk him with Peppercorn and the older kittens, and not yet with Goober. He has got to get frequent feedings, bathroom care, and stay clean after both. He has got to stay warm and needs, desperately, to be right with someone. And he’s so tiny and fragile, I’m staying very conscious of that. — I think I will be OK with him, sleeping tonight, or I may be pulling an all-nighter. — He is napping on my lap right now. He has a very healthy loud meow, seems fine except for being too underweight. Plenty of food and love, and I think he has a chance to make it. I think we can make it through the night and to the vet’s tomorrow.
I will try feeding every hour or two, likewise bathroom care. I will tr a fresh litterbox and see if he knows what to do, and then try the other, care by hand. So we should be OK.
Got to order kitten formula, bottle feeders, and hmm, I am going to be hard pressed on hand towels and washcloths, I think. I may have to buy some, to wait while others dry, and I think paper towels and baby wipes may be the way to go.
Oh, golly, purring kitten, just stretched. He is happy with me, feels safe already. Dang, kitty.
I now will have to decide if I keep him and give away all the older kittens plus mama. He has to be old enough and strong enough to fend for himself against them and Goober. I do think Goober will be OK with him once the kitten’s older and healthier. But I think I’m committed to this tiny one by necessity, and my own stubborn sense of what’s right: I just accepted responsibility for him, he has to have care, and unless he can get care and a home with someone else, that means he’s mine. That may have to take priority over the kittens, Dubhan and Wizard. I will have to see what happens, and come to a decision my heart can live with.
So tonight, the kitten gets full attention and Goober has to be with the others.
I’m going to give him a little more time before I bathe him and check about litterbox training. Yes, there are likely to be accidents. He’s a baby, very much so, and has to gain to normal kitten weight for his age, which I hope can happen fast. Will have to find out if he’s got worms or anything else going on, but it’s possible or likely, given recent experience. — I’m very sure already that he has to be with me as much as possible, but hmm, I still have my own care, so he will have to learn to be alone for short periods while I take care of him ad me and the others. And…oh boy.
He is a cute little so-and-so. I hope we can work out something so he gets the full care he needs, and unless he gets adopted thereby, I expect I’ve just been handed my next cat. Dang, he’s tiny, but yes, he’s old enough, that’s from malnourishment more than anything else, probably. The runt of the litter and discarded, I guess, by someone who didn’t want to be bothered with a crying, hungry, needy kitten. Ooh, that is not the way to do it.
I have no idea of a name. I’m stunned and this is all sinking in. I’m about to order those supplies, and will check with the vet’s office before I go in tomorrow, to see about what they may have on hand to sell, if need be.
As if I didn’t have enough cat care already. But I couldn’t say no. I’m that way.
All of you, prayers and/or good thoughts are welcome. This little one needs them, and the last time I took care of a kitten, he.was older and healthier than this. I don’t have much experience bottle feeding or the stimulate and clean up, but I’ve seen videos from Kitten Lady and others recently. I will be reviewing those tonight too.
Warm, dry , clean, safe, fed, watered, body contact. — It’s too warm for a hoodie, but I don’t have a sling. For now, just holding him close will work. Oh gosh, now he’s awake and wants to be right with me, working his paws, looking to be cuddled. OK, kitty. Cuddle now, order stuff in a bit.
Needy. Neddy? I don’t know, we’ll see if he’ll name himself tonight.
Best Wishes everyone. Hope for good things for this little one. I hope he makes it.
@BCS, NO MILK, don’t feed him ordinary cows milk, not even diluted!
It gives most cats and kittens diarrhoe, which would dehydrate the poor little thing and be very bad for it.
Warmth
What he needs most is to be kept warm. You could use something like Kittenlady’s favorite Snuggle safe microwavable pet bed warmer, so you could leave him snuggled in his own safe nest while you do other stuff.
You could also get him one of those heartbeat-plushies to snuggle up to when he needs to stay in his cosy nest.
Here’s Kittenlady’s list of favorite supplies, if you hadn’t bookmarked it yet.
For the times when you want to carry it with you, but not in a hoodie, could you rig a sling from a large bandanna or teatowel?
Food
If a kitten can eat kitten food you don’t have to bottle-feed it anymore, from what I’ve seen on Kittenlady’s and other kitten-rescue YouTube channels. Ask the vet, but if he bites holes in the bottle-nipple, I expect the vet will tell you to stick with just giving him frequent small portions of the moist kitten food, and drinking water on the side.
So don’t stock up on bottle-feeding stuff unless the vet advises you to do so.
Help
You could also ask the vet if he knows someone who might be willing and able to foster just the one new little kitten, so you could keep one or two of Peppercorn’s.
You could try sending a message to Kittenlady, explaining the situation and asking if she has any contacts in the Houston area who might be able to help you with this.
The Peppercorn family
Talk to your vet (and Kittenlady, if you send her an email) about the impossibility of keeping this tiny kitten safe and separate from the gang of 4 months old kittens and their mama, who doesn’t tolerate the newcomer at all well. Tell him you really cannot keep that many cats in your appartment, it’s not allowed, you haven’t got the financial resources to keep them all, and never wanted to keep them this long – just two months so they could be safely adopted. It’s not safe for the little one, and what if José finds the newest one’s littermates and brings those along too?
Remind the vet of the trouble you have getting transportation, so you can’t just drive by all the shelters in town until you find one that is open to drop them off.
You really need to get Peppercorn and her kittens some other place to stay soon. As even Kittenlady says she is not opposed to shelters that do not have a no-kill policy for really sick cats, you might consider contacting those as well. They wouldn’t kill such young, healthy and well-socialised animals which can find adoption homes easily. I heard that because of the pandemic so many people are adopting pets that some shelters are running out of adoptable cats and dogs.
If people working from home intend to keep doing so for the foreseeable future, much more than before the coronavirus hit, they now know they can keep a pet and spend time with it. Mass vaccination won’t be before the latter part of 2021, and by that time the new work from home pattetns will be well established.
Warm, lightly scrambled egg is good too. One might beat a single egg and warm tablespoon sized portions.
Hi everyone. I just got back from the vet and haven’t had time to read all the new comments yet. I skimmed them.
I had ordered a couple of bottle feeders and packets of replacement nipples, plus powder or liquid for milk replacer / kitten formula. — Yes, the vet said the new little one doesn’t need it, but either donate it or save it for the next one / batch. (Eek!)
I realized I needed to get “puppy pads” and baby wipes, and I had seen Kitten Lady’s recommendation of a playpen, so kittens have a safe enclosure in which to play, snooze, etc. Possibly overdoing it, I ordered a small scale, anticipating this little kitten was younger or I might need to keep careful track if he were at high risk.
Sigh: The vet’s office didn’t have any foster mama cats who might nurse or adopt him. So he is staying with me. Aside from the heavy and sudden flea infestation, after hearing what I’d done for him, she said good, I was doing right, very diligent, keep it up. (Incidentally, all the vets and staffers are women except for one man I haven’t seen. It’s getting more common. Although often they still have farm and ranch backgrounds, things like 4H and FFA.
So, news: Yes, I’ll have to think of who I want to keep or give away. It seems likely now, I may give away all of Peppercorn and family and keep the little guy. He is going to need a LOT of TLC and is very needy / separation anxiety prone. He ate again while at the vets’, and they said him sleeping a lot is normal. So he should continue to get moist food and can try a bit of kibble until he is used to it and can handle it. Other recommendations were given. — He’s about 5 weeks old, old enough to eat moist food and get water from z xhallow bowl, too old for a bottle now. He is very scrawny and needs as much food as he wants to build up his body. No milk as Hanneke said. Egg that’s a great suggestion. We need to get him used to a shallow litter tray and build up to the normal tray as he grows.
Oh boy, is he anxious for contact, snuggling, reassurance. He will calm down and hunker down in place if in a good spot, such as my bed, but he wants and needs attention, plus the chance, once he’s built up a little, to exercise and gain independence. He’s just very far behind by being so emaciated. He may be able to build it up fast, as the vet says (without extensive tests) he appears healthy otherwise. (Dewormed, flea bath, however.) He scarfed down a good bit of food while at the vet, and he’s been sleeping with me once I got things settled here at home.
I should check with Tiny Kitten too, which I remember Hanneke had mentioned before. I don’t visit the channel as much; I don’t know why. — Kitten Lady has started a webinar series available from her YouTube channel and her FB page as well as Royal Canin’s page, on taking care of kittens. I discovered last night that trying to watch that while actually taking care of such a kitten, who needed to eat, poop, pee, nap, and get lots of attention because, meow-meow-meow! (haha) can be very challenging. I also discovered, hey, cleaning up said little guy can result in several washcloths or hand towels and a couple of shirts needing to be washed, in a hurry. LOL. Oh, I am out of practice with a kitten this young.
Now that I know he’s around 5 weeks old, I can tailor his care better. I’d jsuted too young.
Everyone got flea baths and the older kittens from Peppercorn all got their 2nd shots plus flea medicine. The little fellow is too little for it and can have a daily bath with two or three drops of Dawn liquid, and be sure he gets dry and held or a blanket. — We will soon be in warm enough weather where that is not as big a concern, but yes, after a bath, when very young or thin or old, they have to be warmed up, because they lose too much body heat.
Aside from the fleas, the 5 are doing well. Oh, and Wizard’s testicles have finally both descended. The kittens have been growing a lot, and it’s getting very noticeable.
I had no idea it would take so long today. — Getting the Uber app to cooperate and getting the cab drivers situated, because the directions to/from my apt. are so incomplete or wrong, was a chore. (Add to it, it had my old card info saved, which had expired.) But thing eventually went OK.
Some laundry to do, and I will need to clean more and treat the carpet agains fleas.
A sling to carry the new kitten: I did a search for a kitten ling on Amazon, before I’d seen a recommendation on Kitten Lady’s site. If the one I ordered isn’t good, I’ll try the one she likes.
I haven’t gotten photos today, but intend to tomorrow. I’m low on sleep after being alert for the new kitten and having Goober and the others out of my bedroom. Goober was in to eat away from the others, but then back out to the rest of the apt. They did fine last night.
It’s catching up with me; I just ate breakfast / lunch. Going to rest a while.
Oh, gosh. Well, if last night didn’t do it, this evening did. This little kitten pretty much thinks I’m mama/papa and gives me a look to prove it. (Aside from some kitty yelling when I’ve bathed him, or a few times now he’s been scared.) But he’s eaten supper, maybe a fifth of a 3 oz can or so, he’s full, and he’s draped on my forearm, asleep as if everything is right with the world, entirely relaxed and happy. When I posted above and rested, I didn’t sleep, but I lay down with him on the bed. His reaction? Flop, onto his back, forelegs out, head back, totally happy to get to nap with me after today’s arduous vet trip. I think he’s bonded to me out of necessity but out of love too. Gosh, he’s tiny and skinny, skin and bones and full tummy now. And he is cute, gorgeous. So…I think he’s staying permanently. He needs full care.
Exactly how I am going to manage that, I am not sure. He will have to be in a carrier or playpen or at least in the room, sequestered, until he’s big enough to fend for himself more. So likely up through my move. I’ll have to be packing and doing other things. But he also has to learn to be independent and not too spoiled, and he’s older than he seems. I will manage somehow. Hmm, and all the little messes and misbehaviors, I’ll have to get through with him too. But gosh, I love him already. And he’s thoroughly content being with me as his guardian / foster dad.
Peppercorn and the kittens need love and attention still. Keeping the new kid separate from the big kids is going to be a challenge once he gets big enough for that to occur to him.
Tonight, Goober didn’t want to budge from his spot, so he didn’t get fed like usual. He’ll need to be taken care of later tonight. And I have to find a way to keep him and the new kitten separate but yet honor Goober’s need for love and his place with me. — That may be easier once we are sure the new kitten will be OK, and doesn’t have some unguessed illness.
I ate off schedule, so I’ll eat late tonight. I have dishes and laundry to catch up on tomorrow, and I need to dust the carpet with flea powder and do cleaning. But there are too many boxes. It’s notes. Supplies, things packed for the new house, crowded. Somehow, I have to shift things around and clean, and continue with things, while caring for 8 cats.
I will try to get pictures tomorrow.
Also, I have to put in to have my garbage disposal looked at and fixed, plus a reminder on other repairs.
It’s going to be wacky here for a while.
I want to swing by and let José and Skyla, his girlfriend, know how the new kitten is.
I am pretty sure there were not littermates for him, but if so…oh, I can’t do that, someone else would have to step in. At least until I can get Peppercorn and whichever kittens to a shelter, in May.
But I am not ready to handle a litter of kittens this young and malnourished. That needs someone who can devote more time and money and expertise. Later, if/when my situation improves, then I could attempt it. Right now, this one is challenging my skills, but I’m learning, adjusting.
Not sure when supplies will arrive for the new kitten, but I am glad I paid for flea med for them today, and I can keep the packages I bought of that for June.
Purring and moving around to get comfy. I think I’m sitting a while before doing anything else. Suits me. Today was way longer than I had thought it would take.
Best wishes everyone.
I am not sold on Ned as his name. He needs something else Mostly black right now, but he is a grey / silver tabby and the lighter fur may prevail as he grows.
My gosh, he has so far to go to get to his normal size and weight, but he’ll get there.
I don’t know his personality yet, but he is definitely one to stick with it, a little survivor. Healthy lungs when he meows!
Dang it, I want to spend some Time with Goober too.
I vote for Pip, being a shortening of Philip, and also a small thing.
Well, I may have my answer about Peppercorn’s kittens. When I left my room to go to the bathroom, I hadn’t sifted the letterboxes this mornng. So I started on that, only to discover Goober was on the bathtub ledge. Two of the kittens, usually curious as I empty to box, got close to Goober, and he complained and escalated. I went to the other box to give a diversion. It partly worked.
But Goober and the kittens kept escalating, with them cornering him, or nearly so, and him complaining and warning them more.
I moved the new kitten into his carrier and put Goober into a carrier in the spare room to further defuse things. I finished the letterboxes, but had to fill one. When I’d done everything, I went back in the room to find three of the kittens sitting atop Goober’s carrier and the other two in the room, with Peppercorn in the hallway, not so into the fight, interestingly.
I rocked the carrier and picked it up to dislodge the kittens, and I carried him into my room, and let everybody calm down by separation.
I consoled Goober, but had to get a distraught kitten out to comfort him because he was agitating everyone by that, and in general.
Goober and the new kitten don’t need contact yet, but here we are in the same room. I will spend time with both of them and I may have to shut Goober in the spare roomm with a spare litterbox, while I sleep with the kitten, who is too little to leave alone.
But now I think I have my answer, that Goober is too uncomfortable, unhappy, and at risk with Peppercorn’s kittens en made, and maybe Dubhan and Wizard ae not meant to be mine. Goober hasn’t made friends with them.
I think the new kitten has to stay, and without the others, I can ease the transition for both of them until there’s whatever acceptance from both.
I am not yet sure if this is the right decision, so I still need to think on it. But this feels like the necessary answer. I think Peppercorn’s kittens have not bonded with me enough, but that also, they are so used to being here, they take being with me for granted and are casual about it.
So I may have the answer, but it still has to wait until the shelters are open for intake again. And… Nuts, I’d wanted to keep Dubhan and Wizard. I thought the bond was there.
There’s a bond between me and the new kitten already: He thinks I’m mama/papa, protector and friend. I think he’s great. I am hopeful he and Goober might make friends, but I don’t know yet.
Likely, I have at least the weekend to decide all their futures.
@BCS, you might try to keep Goober and Pip both with you in the bedroom at night, with the door closed and a shallow litter pan and a tray or placemat (to protect your carpet) with bowls of kibble/kittenfood and water.
Now the baby is so young, he’ll take getting acquainted with Goober much more in stride, including whatever kind of reaction Goober has (short of outright aggression, which doesn’t sound like Goober). For Goober, the kitten is much less of a threat now he’s this small and can’t follow Goober when he escapes up on the desk or a box. It might be easier for Goober to learn to accept this kitten if being with him means being with you, and safe from the gang of ‘teen’ cats, and when he sees this little one can be taught to respect him.
If Goober hisses at the kitten, or swats at him if he persists in approaching, he’ll learn to respect Goober’s limits much easier now than when he’s a brash “teenager”. He’ll also learn that while you are there for him, he will have to share your attention with Goober. Much better to learn that now, than let him develop the idea that you’re his and only his human, and get jealous when he later has to learn to share. That might work if Goober would assert his rights, but you already know he won’t.
Getting used to sharing space and attention now might help with future peace among the two of them.
It might be Pip. I’ve thought of Ned (because he’s needy), Nermal (the grey tabby rival to Garfield), and others which didn’t stick. I don’t think Ned or Normal quite fit him.
I’d also thought of Pippin / Pépin, an old medieval name or nickname. I recall there’s an old tale, but I don’t recall the details. (In French lit and English lit, we didn’t cover much of the medieval tales, and I still haven’t read them. BTW, I could use a recommendation, if there’s a collection of these, the troubadour romains / romans / romances.)
So hmm, I will try Pip and see if it sticks. He needs a name.
Overnight, I didn’t want to separate Goober after the incident with the Peppercorn Gang. ( :-/ ) I also wasn’t sure if he and Pippin would be safe together. Goober was in no mood for any kitten foolishness, even near him, and gave the most extended reluctant grumble / growl (but holding back) that I’ve heard from him, except while the others were bullying him. The kitten didn’t know to sit or lie down or back off. Goober sounded like he wasn’t going to let it go. I picked up the kitten and moved him away. So Goober moved to my feet and the kitten stayed near my head and chest, then the headboard, and I dithered between putting one or both in carriers or letting this truce play out. I ended up going to sleep that way. Not before trying to get the kitten to use the litterbox and take more moist food, and hearing another argument (yelling and so on) from one of the neighbors. It was brief but serious. The young woman was angry again; not sure what the guy did.
I woke between 4 and 5. Sigh. A small wet spot on the bed. And kitten (Pip) had approached Goober, who was giving that passive-aggressive whiny growl again. I moved the kitten again. So no disaster, but Goober is still too stressed and too fed up with kitten shenanigans. Even when all this new kitten is doing is approaching to see if Goober might be friendly or feed or adopt him. I think Goober also feels like I am his and only his, jealousy.
Goober got off the bed and was quiet a while and then spit up a lot. I cleaned it up and put the kitten in his carrier again. I fed the crew and Gober. I then took trash to the dumpster.
Surprise! Mystic was at my door. So I fed him outside. He didn’t eat, but was happy to greet me and get some attention. I apologized and said I was glad to see him again, and I went in.
I needed to wash my hands after petting him.I set a load of laundry, before I can change the bed and wash that. So Goober and Pippin are in my room, not buddies yet, and I am hoping Goober will simmer down and maybe accept Pippin. I’m very tired and wet to nap again before I get up, do some cleaning and tidying, before submitting the maintenance request for the garbage disposal. Man, sleepier than I thought.
I put the
How about Sterling for a name? A head nod to his coloration, a metal of value, and the name of a castle in Scotland… Now you just need to learn Scots Gaelic.
How long has it been since we read any of that in college lit? I think it was excerpts. I can’t recall if I was supposed to read all of the Rime of the Ancient Mariner besides, or the Vision of Sir Launfal. That’s a 30-odd year blur ago. But I’m embarrassed to think I don’t have any Rbert Burns or those in my Kindle library.
— Sterling — Might be a good name; I like that. — Seeing him little more today, hmm, he may be more a dark brown tabby than a grey-black and silver-grey. But Sterling still works. I’m still trying out Pippin and Pip. (Ah, so where’s Flynx?)
I’m just now taking a break. So far behind from intentions or schedules. The bed is changed and one load is washed, to be hung to air-dry. The other, I think will be washed tomorrow. Limited space to hang things to dry.
For the moms and grandmas — Do they make a baby blanket or throw with a waterproof backing / underside or inner layer? I don’t really want to confine Pippin / Sterling to the carrier too much or overnight when I’m asleep. He’s been popped in and out of the carrier several times today while I’ve done chores and has complained LONG and LOUDLY how unfair that is and how lonesome he is, and how could I, and where ARE you, human? Poor little guy. He’s adapting, though. He had breakfast and a late lunch, but had seconds with lunch. I let him eat until he’d had so much, I thought he’d get sick or get a tummy ache from expanding too much. He had a bath a little later. That was comedic, but worked out. Bathing a tiny kitten like him, so fragile…wow. He is in my lap, drying off and snoozing. (I rubbed him as dry as I dared with a towel.)
Tried again to introduce him to Goober. It didn’t work the first time today, but the second time, I had slightly better results. Also, once the bed was made, Goober bounced up and greeted me, and knew from my tone I was happy with him, so we did better than we have in a while. I didn’t press another introduction. But that he didn’t really hiss or fuss at the kitten once was good.
Dubhan had his head on the wet drying bedspread and greeted me very nicely. Darn it, now I wonder again about keeping him. — Once the new little guy is a bit older, the difference in ages will be moot. Goober will be over 14 when either of them will be moot.
Haven’t gotten to other cleaning yet.
I ordered a sling to carry the kitten, but I don’t know when it’ll get here. I need to try a hoodie. A regular-size bandana is too small but two tied together might work. I will experiment.
I will call about the garbage disposal likely tomorrow. No way it’ll get done today, and not likely over the weekend.
I discovered another box was cat food pouches, not cans. Ugh. I tired two on Goober and Pippin / Serling. Success, but messy as before. Most will go to the older kittens as before.
I am having hit-or-miss results with the kitten and litterbox use. He doesn’t yet get it that he should scamper t the litterbox to relieve himself. He doesn’t quite get what the litterbox is for yet. But I will keep at it. Suggestions are welcome. Only once have I seen and heard the signs he wanted to use it. No clue at other times, he just goes.
Todaym, he’s doing better, his tummy is not so distended and he’s peed and pooped OK, had moist food and water OK, and I could swear he isn’t quite as skin and bones as yesterday, but the gain is small.
@BCS, have you got a kitchen scale you could weigh him on at the same time each day, for the next few weeks or so? Tiny Kittens and Kitten Lady both keep weight charts for their young kittens – they should gain some each day, if they don’t it’s a sign something is not right. After a while, when it’s clear he’s thriving, you could weigh him once a week, then once a month, just to check on his development.
For the separation anxiety, you might give him something that smells of you to snuggle with when he can’t be with you, like a Tshirt or sock that hasn’t been washed yet.
And a heating pad like the Snuggle Safe under the towel or fleece or whatever with which you’ve made up his nest.
For kittens who haven’t quite grasped the litterbox yet, most carers use puppy pads, or mattress pads – an absorbent top layer with a waterproof underlayer. You could temporarily put a few of those pads on top of your bedspread (or in its playpen or on the floor), underneath the kitten.
Disposable mattress pads / mattress protectors come in different sizes for bedwetting babies, toddlers and kids, for people suffering from incontinence, and for mothers who have recently given birth (those might be called something like maternity mattress protection pads, I don’t know the exact words used in the US).
Any of those work the same, and could be used on top of the covers for your kitten as well as on top of the mattress. It’s more a question of which you can find available in your area, and which are cheapest.
I checked Kitten Lady’s site for recommendations, and ordered a few items. So besides what I’d mentioned before, puppy pads and yes, a kitchen scale. I don’t have one and it was cheaper than I thought it would be. (The darn playpen was about the price of a carrier.)
LOL, I just had to figure out if he needed the litterbox, but no, he’s back for another snack. He is not yet eating a 3 to 5 oz serving of moist food at one sitting, but he is sure chowing down in little snacks today. Good. His tummy is not distended with gas or too much food today. Much more normal. We might be making a little progress on, this is how you use a litterbox, do that instead of pee/poop in place, please. He is not drinking lots of water yet. He’s hungry and tanking up, though. This is fine, he has lots of catching up to do.
Hmm…spare mattress pad would work for now, but a disposable or other kind is a great idea. I’ll look.
When I haven’t been working today, and spent time with them, the kitten has had a ton of time in my arms / lap, and is going to be spoiled rotten, but he also craves the togetherness and affection and belonging. Snuggled into me or on his back, purring some, all of it. He’s very happy.
He’s been doing very little exploring or wanting to play yet, but until I have the carpet in my bedroom flea-treated (powder) and vacuumed up, I’m trying to limit it so he doesn’t get ganged up on by them. Population explosion. Eek. — I had allergy problems with the powder last time, and may do spray this time. I’ve treated the other bedroom, and may retreat there with a sleeping bag for us when I do this room.
I haven’t yet gotten to the supply of balls, but he needs a ball or two and other toys to begin play and exercise. I have small ping-pong-like foam balls and hard plastic balls with bells inside. Low on other toys, and I’ve realized I’m not sure if one was played with by Curry, so I may need to at least wash it again before anyone else can play with it.
He’s too little and way too frail yet to climb or risk falling. I am so conscious of how thin he is and how small his bones are. He did manage to get out the bedroom door earlier, so I’ve switched to putting him in the carrier for now, because I don’t want to risk him getting hurt by the others. They might or might not intend any harm.
A side effect of sequestering Goober: He feels more relaxed and has spent a lot of time on the newly-made bed. Less stress. If he and the new kitten can make friends, that would be ideal. For now, I’m being careful, but I’m trusting them when I sleep. It went OK last night, so maybe we’ll do better tonight. I’m also giving Goober more attention as a side effect of paying attention to the kitten and being in my room.
I made sure to give Peppercorn and family attention after supper, and need to do this enough to help them stay used to it. — Dubhan was very happy to get attention from me, and I scrubbed Ducky’s back again, since he had new or remaining flea trails there. Ick. But he liked the help, so it went well.
So, all in all, doing OK. A little slower than I want, but OK. — Needing to care for the new kitten so much is a problem, but I do love getting to do this with him, while at the same time, I am discovering how out of practice I am, or skills I didn’t have before. So I’m learning and it’s a good challenge, and he and I are bonding like crazy. I expect he’lll be showing big signs of improvement in activity level and interaction soon, and gaining the body mass he needs. So far, so good. Very satisfied with the results so far.
The difference in age and size and skills right now is wide, for Dubhan and the new kitten. But I am thinking about this. The kitten will need a young companion to play with and burn off steam and learn all those cat skills. Goober is older, still pretty strong and sharp-witted, but older. He’d be a good big brother or adoptive dad, if he would accept the new kitten or Dughan. I am not yet ready to try introducing the new kitten to the others, after the first try ringing him near them. I still want to e careful about Goober, but I think h’s OK. He moved off to a corner of the bed rather than escalate with the kitten. I take that a s a good sign. Also a good sign that he tolerated the kitten on today’s second looking over between them.
So there’s a whole lot more to go!
Pippin is winning for the name so far, but I really like Sterling too. (And my brain just had to supply the pun, Pounce Sterling. Yes, I know, I’m sorry, haha.)
Well…if he keeps snacking every so often like that, he might just finish that pouch of food. Interesting. Goober did not eat all of his, but that is usual and he will go back to it. They are not eating each other’s food yet. It hasn’t yet occurred to the kitten, and I sincerely hope he won’t try that with Goober, who has always had someone doing that to him because, well, he won’t object strongly enough and make it stick.
Oh my gosh, I just got a nose bump from the new guy. OK, I’m sold, he’s staying. Purring too. Happy littleguy. He may be a longhair, not sure yet.
I need to grab that spare mattress protector. He can have some time on the bed that way.
but the disposable ones, that may be a better idea.
I like “Pounce Sterling”, either end for short. (My favorite name from Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats is Pouncival.)
I don’t know why, but I’ve gotten almost no sleep. I put a mattress protector over the bedding and slept on that…which seems very reversed. Why not unmake the bed and just use the second mattress protector? It’s warm enough, but it felt odd without a throw blanket or bedspread and sheet over me.
The new kitten, Pippin / Pounce Sterling, I’m not sure yet what name he’ll end up with, and again that’s odd, tried a few times to make friends with Goober, who steadfastly refused, but not as much as before. Goober mainly ignored him. Harrumph. While the kitten was trying hard to make friends, I thought, and ended up rebuffed and unhappy about it. So they stayed separate, but no physical harm done, and maybe Goober is mellowing? Or staying stubborn.
Gods-rotted fleas…. In the morning, I’m going to put down spray or powder and we will have to live with it in the room. It’s driving the three of us crazy.
The kitten didn’t go to the headboard or curl up with me. He was restless and wanted to explore. He made it down to the floor, perilously, but assisted by (yet more) boxes., and tottered along the floor, then tried to climb back onto the bed. He could’t quite manage that yet, so I picked him up. He tried again with Goober, and instead of cuddling with me, he burrowed into the clothes by the bed and slept. I slept a couple of hours and got back up.
He has been snacking repeatedly, tanking up, and has had one not very big visit to the litterbox, and water only once. He also almost fell from the dresser (makeshift desk), but hung on and I picked him up, glad he didn’t fall. So since 5 or 6 pm, he has had almost all the pouch of moist food. Good job, little guy. He has been practicing cute and bonding, and I’m struck with the enormity of raising this little guy from so young, teaching him how to be a cat, with Goober’s example, and hopefully teaching him too.
I think he needs practice walking. He’s a bit unsteady, still gaining his strength, beginning to want to explore and learning to communicate with me.
I’m going to try a shirt or towel, but when I get to a throw blanket, I’ll have that, as a cover for me and a snuggle source for him.
Goober is playing hard to get, and a little miffed at me over the interloper, but I think we may work that out.
It’s close to time to feed the crew. I’m going to feed them two pouches each this morning, both because they ate one so fast yesterday evening, and to use up the pouches, which are messy. Goober and the kitten will get a pouch each, and the kitten’s serving will likely have a rest in the refrigerator.
@BCS, when my new kitten peed on the bed, I put the disposable mattress protection pads on top of the covers, but slept under the covers myself… they could shift a bit in the night from my tossing and turning (mostly at my shoulders, which was not where the problem was – she peed at the foot of the bed), but they did protect most of the duvet all night.
KittenLady is giving a lecture on YouTube right now about caring for foster kittens: https://youtu.be/FYhS-rIEC3U
Special Pals in my area has an announcement that they are making changes, including a name change to Special Pals Rescue Resource Center. It looks like they are planning to change procedures for how they work with other rescuers in the area, and they say they’re adding space for (dang it, I lost track of which population). No info up about when they will be open again or if they are already, for intake to adopt out. I’ll check again Monday.
Goober has asked three times to go out of the bedroom, and each time, he’s wanted back in in a hurry. I guess he’s checking if the coast is clear or getting a drink or using the litterbox. But just now, he’s discovered where I’ve put a water bowl for him, and he already knows I’ve bent my rules and put a litterbox in here. So the bullying incident really got to him, and I am glad I have sequestered him with me and the little kitten.
Said kitten took a tumble from my lap and alongside the dresser, but is OK. He’s not yet too steady walking, and he should be walking much better than he is. He is eating often, snacks, which is fine. So his tummy is no longer distended, instead normal to full, and he’s not overeating, but snacking often to catch up. Good appetite going. He is not drinkning much water, and is gaining energy and building up, I think.
He’s very, very worried and meows like crazy when I have to go out of the room and put him in the carrier. But when I’m back, he calms down quickly. He’s bonded, I think. I am. He’s a keeper. I also think he has a hint of dark brown, so brown-black and the tint for his tabby, rather taupe. I need to check him in bright sun again to see if it’s the lighting in here interfering with my color perception. He is cute without even trying, and wants to be right with me most of the time. So that sling can’t get here fast enough. He has wanted to explore just a little, which will change once he’s stronger and more confident. Lots of catching up to his age level to do. Tomorrow, I’ll vacuum up the flea powder, and can turn the ceiling fan on again. So then he can have a better chance to explore, but I’m going to have to be super vigilant to make sure he doesn’t dart out of the room and get into trouble with the big kittens.
As soon as the shelters open, Peppercorn and her kittens need to go,. I am still unsure about Dubhan. All of them show inconclusive signs: They are used to me, they like me and want attention, they and their mama especially are overeager at mealtimes, whoosh, instant cat, but a little unnerving about it. So I think I am likely to give them all away, in part because Goober hasn’t made friends with them and feels threatened. I think, though, that Dubhan is not like that, thus my indecision. He put a paw on my shoulder as I was sifting their litterbox in the kitchen / dining area, which I took as a special gesture. So I am not sure about him.
Goober and the kitten are still working on it. I can’t tell if Goober will make friends, but he has given signs of tolerance as well as one instance where he smacked down the kitten, but did only that, no more. I waited a bit and separated them.
The kitten isn’t yet eating dry kibble. His first try, he didn’t know what to make of the strange stuff and left it. So we’ll need to work on that.
Pippin or Pounce Sterling. (Huh, Troy Ounce? No, he doesn’t look like a Troy. Haha.)
We need to work on “Kitty, Kitty,” and whatever his name will be, and surely the word “No-No” will come up. He’s getting a lot of “Good Boy! It’s OK, that’s good, good job!” feedback on doing things right.
I didn’t locate the toys; that was the wrong box. Tomorrow, maybe.
So things are going OK, and giving away mama and her kittens should happen soon, I hope this coming week, or next at latest. Meanwhile, I have the dilemma of how to raise him and integrate with Goober, whether to keep Dubhan, or should I adopt a kitten this little one’s age, once I’m in my new house, which should give us a week or two ore more for the kitten to be older and further along in growth and skills.
The items I ordered are all arriving at various times. I sure hope I don’t have to worry about things not reaching me, being routed here instead of the new address once I move and put in the change of address forms.
I think I’m going to order a small plushie for him. I’ll need to look at the “heartbeat” ones. He’s clingy, and when I’m not there and he’s in the carrier or not, he becomes a very good meow alarm.
I can see glimmers of a strong, feisty, and smart kitty in there, and a very clingy kitty, but no idea yet how social he’ll be. I really, really hope he and Goober will make friends.
@BCS, when I got these kittens (at 3 months old, a year ago) that was my first time for having such a young cat. I thought they’d need another youngster for company and to play with, so I got both brother and sister. Now I wish I hadn’t.
They aren’t enemies, don’t hiss or growl or quarrel; but neither do they play together much, nor do they sleep together.
Big brother plays by himself, or plays fetch with me.
When little sister tries to play, big brother will try to join in, and she’ll stop and move away, leaving him the toy. The same thing happens whenever she eats or gets a little attention or laptime.
They like going into the garden through the catflap, but brother often prefers being inside. When little sister comes in the flap he is alerted by the sound, and often runs at her for a game of chase-pounce-wrestle, which he likes but she doesn’t. That game tends to end in a small spat, an “ow!” meow and her running away to hide or swatting him repeatedly (he doesn’t stop easily), unless I break it up when someone squeaks.
So she’s becoming wary of coming in, and has taken to waiting outside the door in the evening, for me to come and pick her up and bring her inside.
She tries to stay silent, so he won’t notice and come over to claim ownership. When she’s sure he isn’t around she’ll talk to me and come up to me for petting, but otherwise she stays away.
He isn’t being mean, just too self-centered and dominant, and too much bigger and stronger for her to stand up to.
In the morning they both get on the bed with me for a bit, but I constantly have to police his encroaching ways (trying to push her aside and claim me for himself), and she licks his face in submission to be allowed to get some good morning pets too. That is not a good situation or dynamic for my little girl cat to be constantly caught up in – she can’t feel entirely safe in her own home. She tolerates him, but clearly feels relieved when she’s sure he is not in the room, and not about to come in.
Brother likes having his little sister around to pester when he feels like it; he’d probably come demand more attention from me if he didn’t have that other outlet for his boredom. He brings me his toy to play with him awhile maybe twice a day – if he was an only cat he might do that twice as often. I think I’d prefer that to constantly feeling low-level guilty for not being able to give little sister a safe place of her own, where she can be queen of her own territory and get all the petting and love that she clearly wants but is afraid to ask for or sit still for while her brother is around.
So all that is why I now question the necessity for a single kitten to have a kitten playmate; if you can give it enough love and attention, that might work better than the sort of power-imbalance my cats have.
With non-assertive Goober in the mix, who clearly hasn’t bonded with Dubhan or Wizard or Ducky, even though he’ll tolerate them singly – it might be good to think about what kind of inter-cat dynamics you’ll get from the combination of cats you keep.
With Pip/Sterling having suffered such deprivation in his early life, he might stay a bit smaller all his life, as you see with farm cats who’s mama had to hunt their food. He starts out a lot smaller than the ‘teens’, and may never make up that difference. That might make for a better balance with non-assertive Goober, but makes me think it might set up a similar power-imbalance with a Peppercorn-kitten as between my twin little sister and big brother.
Now I don’t know these cats except for what you’ve written about them, and how their personalities play off each other is not something I can guess from a distance with any degree of accuracy, but it’s something to consider rather than going unthinkingly for the standard idea that a kitten needs another kitten to play with.
I spent a little time just now with Peppercorn and her kittens. They are nearly as big as she is now, especially the boys, though each one is a different size and weight. The boys are all getting clearly more masculine and the girls are svelte and take after their mother. Peppercorn is smaller and now that she’s had good care for over two months, she’s no longer too thin and has muscle to her, not stocky but solid. When she’s not over into aggressive alpha female with some perceived threat (fear of being stepped on, getting her claws caught) she is mostly mild and a bit shy and likes a bit of petting. I am careful to read her signals in case she gets tired of being petted. She hasn’t done anything except once before being spayed, when I petted her hindquarters and that seemed too personal or iffy to her. She hissed, but didn’t do more.
I think all of the kittens would make good pets. Unicorn still tends to try to grab a leg at feeding time, I think wanting me to hurry up and wanting attention. She is otherwise a very nice little cat. Ducky and Pinky are rather shy and Ducky tends to keep to himself, but has discoed he likes petting. Wizardd is also still a bit shy, but better. He likest to initiate play sometimes. Dubhan is an all around good cat and I think is a little bonded to me after all. While I was looking for one of the others, I held Dubhan, carried him around, with him purring and happy.
But hmm, they are all closer to full size, too grown up to be a good match for the little guy. And right, they and Goober are not bonded. Pippin / Sterling is very bonded to me and I am getting bonded to him fast. He needs someone to take care of him. So he and Goober are my priorities. I would have liked to keep Dubhan and Wizard, but since they and Goober are not friends, and Goober is getting older and they are going to be really big cats when grown, I think it’s maybe a better idea if I do give them away too. If they can get good homes, and if Peppercorn can get an owner who can work with her to reduce that quick-draw streak, I think she’ll be fine.
Goober is adjusting better to the separation, to being confined in the bedroom. He and Pippin / Sterling still have to work things out, but it’s not as bad as it was.
Pippin / Sterling needs work on his litterbox training. He can’t quite make if from the dresser on his own yet, but he’s getting better at some walking and climbing. Still wobbly I’ve given him a partial scrub to be sure he stays clean and flea-free. The fleas are not yet gone.
He is talking to me a little, but the big discovery is, he may be a shoulder cat.
Hanneke, would a third cat balance them, or put little sister in lower on the scale? Or would it be better to give big brother away and get another cat to balance little sister and break up b ig brother’s bad behavior? I don’t know the answer either, but I ended up getting fed up with Smokey’s aggressive power games and bullying of Goober. I still regret giving him away, but yet with Peppercorn and her kittens, and how Curry acted, I think I did the necessary thing. It is hard to know what is the best or right thing to do.
Oh — The little guy may be a shoulder cat.
Kitten-rearing links:
Foster Dad John is fostering two brothers at the moment who are about the same age as Peppercorn’s kittens. BrookIvy3 shows the highlights on her channel on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJeQLIzkGjX8NdeDa0rZwTA
You might enjoy watching some of those.
Myself, I’m enjoying Grace’s new kittens (and also how Dave is socialising the pregnant feral mom Stella, so they can help her if there’s trouble during the birth; but mostly the baby kittens 🙂) over at TinyKittens on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/user/tinykittenshq
They don’t save most of the highlights, the way BrookIvy does, but you can look back through the past four hours of the two live cams, and their moderators often post timestamps in the live chat for when something happened on camera that’s worth scrolling back for.
With my two, little sister Snowy needs to be an only cat. She likes being somewhere near but safe, not on my lap but close by. She’s too retiring to do well with another cat in her territory. Lots of cats are by nature solitary hunters; being sole owner of her territory and her human would be good for her.
Big brother Coco is very social and needs a lot of attention, laptime and playing. He wouldn’t like being an only cat, unless I could give him lots of attention and playtime throughout the day, which is difficult when I’m working. He might do better with another male of similar size and disposition, who would enjoy roughhousing, pounce-and-wrestle games as much as Coco does (and Snowy doesn’t). But, adding another good-hearted hooligan to the house would make the situation really impossible for quiet-loving little Snowy – I really couldn’t do that to her.
I’m keeping my ears open in case a family member or friend might want to take one of them at some point, depending on the situation they’d land in. Either a nice quiet single-cat home for Snowy (like mine was with my earlier cats) or a more lively home with people, kids and maybe other cats to play with that Coco would enjoy. If Snowy finds another home I might have to look into getting Coco a friend (though he hates having to share me, so maybe not); but if Coco moves out Snowy and I would be fine together.
Perhaps I missed something, skimming past all the cat posts, but have we heard from the blog owners since the post at the top, almost a month ago? Or has anyone an update? It’s a worrisome time, for sure. (And I thought, before I left for a long sojourn in warmer climes, that there was a plan to move the cat posts to a home of their own?)
There was a plan, but the plan hit a snag: The old and new hosting companies tangled up my information, and the new hosting company seems to default to a blog-only site, despite saying otherwise. I was anticipating moving, and set it aside. Moving has been delayed until after things reopen, and so I won’t find out until during the week if and when we are closing yet and moving, or if it will be mid-month or later. (Even if I get to close this week, the steps needed mean I’ll be preoccupied until mid-month at least.)
Therefore, it’s still sidelined until I can have the time and energy to concentrate on it. I’m sorry that’s so, but I saw no better alternative. I’m anticipating time on call with tech support to get the matter straightened out.
CJ had said here and in previous posts that she is writing like mad to reach deadlines for the next Foreigner book and the book following Alliance Rising, and that and other personal business is why she had not been posting much here. Word from others is that she has been posting some on Facebook. So we other fans are assuming no news is good news, that she is writing and busy still, and we await news.
I’m frazzled with things to do, with maintenance needed on the apartment, with hoping to be able to move into the new house and meet payments to keep it. And I have to get the older kittens and mama adopted out, given to a shelter, as soon as possible. I’ll be calling again tomorrow (Monday) to find out if either of the two big no-kill shelters are open for intake or the public yet. My understanding is that they were closed during the shutdown, and one has announced a change in focus and direction, but hasn’t said further. I’m going nuts trying to feed and care for them, with the new very little one added, because I couldn’t say no when presented with a fait accompli.
Hopefully, CJ will post soon and let us know how she and Jane and the cats are doing. Ah, and the koi should be becoming active too, now or soon.
CJ is quite active on FB.
Thanks, Aja Jin, I had no idea! I gave it a quick glance and will try to follow along over there.
I would like to have my say too. It may not be nice and it may not be wanted, but I’m going to say it. I’ve reached my limit. I don’t care if I’m painted as uncaring or rude. I come to this website to learn about CJ and her life and activities. I come to share in some small way with her interests and to learn of her writing actions. Occasionally I might even post a comment, but this is her website.
Instead over the last year or so it seems that this website has been taken over by primarily one person, BlueCatShip, who chatters on aimlessly about every minute point of their existence. It’s gotten so bad that CJ only posts about once a month or so. Compared to a couple of years ago when she routinely posted three to four times a month. The current thread has 130 comments and is nearly a month old. This person has 57 posts so far all by themselves, almost half the total. In other months the ratio is even higher. Some are replies to other’s comments, but most are not. CJ has a total of 2, one to start the new thread and a second to respond to a comment.
Now maybe CJ is busy, maybe she doesn’t want to post so much about herself. But I suspect she is literally overwhelmed by the number and length of this person’s posts and rather than be drawn into a never ending conversation if she responds, she chooses to avoid disharmony by nearly disappearing from her own website.
For the love of God, BlueCatShip take your never ending posts about your daily personal existence and go start your own website or go on Twitter or Facebook. A special story or two is fine, but to see numerous posts from the same person in the same day on multiple days about something utterly personal month after month after month is nothing more than trying to dominate the conversation and make everything about themselves. I’m sure some find your mini-novels to be interesting, but you are not the focus of THIS website. Let the rest of us exist here too, especially CJ.
I’ve tried twice to write something short to explain how I feel about those comments, and my take on things.
I’m sorry you don’t like what I say or how I say it. I’m sorry you don’t like me. But two questions: How can you read what I write and not get some idea of how I feel and think and why? Don’t you notice how freaked out and discouraged I am, and some of the reasons why, and others I don’t say? And two, how is it OK for you to call me rude, while you few folks are rude enough to, in so many words, say that I should stop posting and leave? It’s funny, other people here don’t seem to have any problem with me, and we do this thing called conversation, talking together to share what we think and feel about practically anything. And oddly enough, they seem to like me like I like them, and we have a good time talking about things. Notably, CJ also talks in her posts about what she likes, what interests her, and details of her daily and personal life. Also notably, if my presence or posts or their content, manner, length, etc. bother her, and to such a degree as to make her feel uncomfortable or unwelcome on her own site, then I am quite sure she could say so, as tactfully or bluntly as she pleases. I assure you folks, it has never been my intention to disrupt things here or to make her not want to be bothered with a mess here. It is not my intention to monopolize, take over, or whatever other unpleasant or nefarious or rude motive you ascribe to me.
I also note it’s some of the same people wo had a problem with me posting at Shejidan. I left there because I didn’t feel welcome or understood, including by a couple of moderators; one much more so than the other. I was a member at Kansas and its successor Terra Firma for years (still am) but they went largely inactive. Few people if any ever had a problem with me there, or if so, were nice enough not to say so.
I’m sorry I bother you. I’m sorry what I say or how I say it bothers you so much you feel the need to tell me to, more bluntly, shut up and leave. I’m also sorry you can read what I say and not have some idea of what’s going on with me that would cause me to say all that about what’s going on with me here, rather than to talk to local friends or deal with it some other way.
I sincerely hope you never have to know what it feels like to go through what I have in the last many years, and then feel so very isolated and discouraged, depressed, and to have such trouble with even the most basic things, both physical and motivational, or emotional. Compassion and understanding are good things. Being able to read past what’s written to what’s unsaid and what’s felt and importantly, why, are good things. I’m sorry you can’t fathom those. I’m sorry you thick I’m such a bad guy, a bad friend, or ascribe such bad motives to me. You are entirely wrong about those. I never have had any wish to take over,monopolize, make CJ or her guests, my fellow fans, feel uncomfortable, unwelcome, so aggravated that they’d rather just avoid it all. And again, I feel sure that CJ can and would speak up directly if she thought she needed to. That she hasn’t shows a measure of kindness and graciousness I wish you folks would show to others, your fellow fans, and yes, me.
If I have annoyed CJ that much, I’m extremely sorry and did not ever mean to.
I’m so wrapped up in my own stuff and so isolated, it needs to go somewhere. And I found people here who didn’t mind me venting or sharing whoever might matter to me. Most folks here have been nothing but nice, and have always included me in conversations. We’ve talked about whatever there might be and enjoyed it, sharing.
Today’s already not a good day, and you don’t care why, so I won’t bother you with it. I’m already discouraged. Why in the world do you few people want to call me to task, just because you think I’m some bad guy, or I post too much, or what I post, you don’t like, or you’ve taken such exception to me personally? Did I come on and insult you folks or tell you to quit posting or to leave? No. The comments as to my motives are not true. however you perceive them to be so. I’m sorry you think so.
Look, others suggested before that you should skip it if you don’t like it. CJ herself once before came on and said she did not want dissension, people sniping at others, creating a bad time. I’d rather not do that either. I’d rather set it aside and go on.
Hav you really considered what it might feel like to be told to stop posting (shut up) and go away, don’t come back? Particularly when someone is as isolated as I am? Haven’t you noticed I’ve talked about that and why? OK, suppose I stopped posting here. Then what about me? I’d lose an outlet for social interaction, a safety valve of sorts, and the chance to talk about ideas or whatever it might be, the same as anyone else here does, by the way. Great. Get so aggravated I don’t come back? Lose it altogether? Withdraw even more into my own space and stew in my own juices, with so little human interaction? Me and one old cat, one new little cat, and six foster cats who really need to be given away as soon as things open up again?
Sure, just withdraw into my own little shell, pull the covers over my head, and hope the world doesn’t notice me so I can quietly go away. — Gee, thanks so much. Y’all sure know how to treat a guy.
“This person?” “Themself?” I have a name; it’s not a secret. I’m Ben. That you didn’t use it says you either don’t know it or specifically didn’t use it for rhetorical effect.
Uh, just how am I more rude than you few people, and how is anything I’ve done more malevolent towards this blog or to CJ than you taking it upon yourselves to tell me to quit posting and go away?
So I’m a mess. All right. Life’s been messy and it’s done a number on me in many ways. I’m trying to turn things around in what feels very much like one last big chance. If I’m lucky, I’ll come out of this OK. If not, then in a few months, it won’t matter much, because I won’t have a place of my own, apt. or rent-to-own house, and I may be fully blind by then or at some point in the future, if things don’t work out. Or just because, even if I get lucky and get the needed care. That’s no exaggeration for any drama, that’s real, and I’m freaked out, and I have too much on my plate. So don’t worry; in a few months, I might not be posting anyway. But that’s fine with you? Really? Wow. I hope that’s not fine with you.
I am thankful for the friendly folks here, including CJ and Jane. I am sorry a few of you would rather not hear from me. I wish you had some understanding and compassion for where I’m coming from, for how I feel and why. I wish very much that I didn’t have to explain anything, that you wouldn’t be so put off by my posts and that you could read them and understand what I mean. I wish I could communicate well enough that I didn’t have to say that. I also wish I didn’t have to wonder if I’m some kind of bad person, if I don’t know how to be a good friend or neighbor or fan.
I didn’t need to see this today. I don’t know yet when or if I’ll gt to close on my new house. I don’t know if or when the shelters will be open to give away the foster cats. And life is just not that rosy when you’re so alone. So OK, you had your say and I’ve had mine, and I would surely like to set it aside and not have to be called out on it again. Please don’t.
I have managed to stay around, wacky as I may be, this long in life without hurting myself. I’m stubborn enough to keep on going despite everything, and maybe smart or foolish enough not to listen when I get so down that withdrawing into myself or just ending it all sounds plausible. Because I have things I want to do, things I believe in, and I would like to have friends to share with in life.
So OK, you don’t like what I say or how I say it or other such things. Fine. But please don’t take it upon yourselves to tell me to stop saying anything and to leave. You’d be all manner of upset if anyone told you that here. Wouldn’t you? You bet you would.
I am sorry to have had to see this again. Look, I am not perfect. I will always be something of an outsider. But I would like to think that I make some kind of sense to others, that they could like me as a friend or more, and that I could like them the same.
It bothers me greatly to have a few people tell me that basically, they think I don’t have anything useful or good to say, that they can’t understand what I mean when I say it, and that they’d just as soon I weren’t around, perhaps at all. That is not too far of an exaggeration from what you folks actually wrote, now is it?
I wish you few folks would take a step back and listen to yourselves, to see what you have said, this time and on more than one occasion previously, here and at Shejidan. It’s been a very long time since I was there. I left because of things like this, directed at me and at others. Why do you feel the need to take me to task like that? Have you honestly thought what it might be like for someone who’s said clearly how shut-in he is, how without options or friends he often feels, to tell him not to join in with others, his associates or friends, in an online gathering place, a way for him to act as an equal with others, to be included? Have you bothered to think that the idea of stopping one of those outlets to be human with others, might feel like being cut off from what little of the world he has? No, I don’t think you’ve thought that through. I’m depressed and I know it. I live with it. But I keep on living and fighting back somehow, and the way I’m made, I’ll tilt at windmills and dream with the rest of the dreamers, maybe even go for the underdog or undercut or under human, just because. I don’t think you’ve thought it through, what telling someone to go away, that they are not of value, might say to anyone. You’ve surely shown what you think of me, though. Thanks a lot.
I’m sorry to see what a few of you think of someone, just for being himself. Did I do anything personally to you? Why do you feel like you need to tell me to shut up and go away?
Yes, I am irked. Very. I’m saddened and discouraged. Oh, I could give up and go away and withdraw into myself. I used to. Sometimes I still do. And you might get your wish, I might quit posting and either lurk or be so fed up that I don’t come back. And one person said once before, that if I wanted to pick up my toys and go home, good. I think you folks missed the point.
I’m aggravated. I don’t want CJ to be aggravated by me or others here. I do not want her to feel bad about some guy with some off-the-wall posting style. If I’m too bad then OK, I’d leave, yes. I’d also feel very hurt. I’m human that way.
I like the people here and I love CJ’s work, and what little I know of her as a regular person behind the writerly professional artist self, I like.
To those of you here who dislike what I say, how I say it, how often or how long I post, or any details of my thoughts, feelings, or personal life? OK, you don’t have to like me. But don’t take it out on me, don’t tell me to leave. Very honestly, if someone treated you that way, about your writing or your personal or professional life and work, your opinions or ideals, or oh, I don’t know, the sky being purple polka-dotted, wouldn’t you feel rather affronted by someone treating you like that? I think so. Cut it out, will you? Don’t make your fellow fans feel that way. I didn’t do a freeing thing to you folks, so why be like that to me? You may think I’m exaggerating but it’s how it comes across, that you don’t value me in the slightest and would just as soon I wasn’t around. Even if you think I’m grossly exaggerating or too emotional or off my rocker, I wish you’d stop and think about it. How would you feel if someone told you you don’t matter to them and so get gone and don’t come back? How would you feel if your ordinary life, or your dearly held beliefs or feelings or thoughts, mundane or ethereal, were called useless, worthless, to that degree? Or if your good intentions, your friendliness, were called malevolent, ill-intentioned, or harmful? At least this for a second, please.
That’s all. I need to do something else for a while. Specifically, the kitten needs a bath again. I’m fed up and I’m going to try to sleep anyway.
Thanks for making my day, folks. Wos. Awful.
I’m in total agreement. Not as a comment on BCS, but this is not the appropriate venue.
It’s really easy to set up a Facebook account and post on Facebook, rather than trying to take over someone else’s blog and followers.
Just to add: We understand how you feel, BCS, and we all sympathize with you. But perhaps you could try to understand how we feel?
We all have problems in our lives. Some of us here also have serious, even life-threatening problems in our own lives.
But we don’t post about them habitually and at great length in inappropriate places. We don’t try to force our problems on people who are here for other reasons.
It’s not that people don’t care, it’s that this is not an appropriate place for your posts.
“Take over?” No. I very much object to that characterization. Again.
It was only ever my intention to share a bit of what matters to me, and share in interesting topics here, with friendly, like-minded people, and I’ve always enjoyed that. Several folks here, I like a lot and would be happy to stay in touch. I did not mean to burden anyone with my life, and I am sorry some feel that I have done so, or taken over, or been somehow a bad guest.
But if I’m such a disruption here, then OK, I’ll quit posting. I still very much enjoy CJ Cherryh’s and Jane Fancher’s work and want to follow what they have to say.
I also would like to see what others here have to say about their lives and interests. But since my input isn’t wanted, I will refrain from doing so.
I don’t have any interest in Facebook or Twitter, due to their bad sides, privacy concerns, and toxicity. My website and blog never got much traffic or interest as far as I could tell. I am not sure it’s worth the cost to continue, to restart it. My font design website was on hold due to troubles developing and failing eyesight. It might as well remain on hold until or unless I can continue development. The domains are paid for, for over a year. I don’t have to decide one way or the other until I can have time to get to them and attempt the setup for a proper website, not only a blog site.
I will miss getting to join in here. But I don’t want to cause a disruption and I don’t want to be somewhere I am not wanted. To those who are fine with me and enjoy our conversations, I will miss joining in. To those who think it’s inappropriate of me, all right, I can see that, but I don’t know how to separate the tangled, chaotic, too-many-things-at-the-same-time mess my life has become, so what you see is what you get. So therefore, rather than bother anyone, I’ll refrain from posting. I may lurk. Or I may just give up on the internet as any social outlet, as no one wants to hear me. Those who are kind enough to interact with me, to talk / write conversations, I thank you a lot for your kindness, your many interests, and the concern you’ve shown time and again.
But all right, you folks who feel my posts and my presence are unwarranted, inappropriate, or somehow taking over from Ms. Cherryh, you think that, but I still say that’s an untrue and unfair characterization of me. But you don’t want me to say anything or to be here. I don’t want to get in the way of CJ’s blog, her enjoyment of it and her fans, and I don’t want to intrude where I’m not welcome or wanted, and where what I have to say about my ideas, interests, feelings, or what I say about my life is considered inappropriate or not worth being around.
To those folks who might defend me being her and posting thank you. You have been a joy in my life. I still think you’re friends, and you’re welcome. But for now, I’ve had enough and I’m going to lurk or stay away. You don’t need to waste your time trying to speak up for me to people who will not change their minds on it. They can keep their opinions, and I hope they never know what it’s like to be in my position and be treated like that, as if you might as well not exist, as if what you think and feel, your very presence, is so worthless as to not be worth having around or seeing, as invisible as it often feels in person.
So OK, you few folks who feel I shouldn’t post, shouldn’t be here, I’m going to lurk or go away for awhile, and I don’t know if I’ll post again.
I appreciate CJ’s patience and kindness. But rather than cause further disturbance to people here, or to her, I’d rather skip it. I don’t know what she thinks about this. She’s never said anything but asked that everyone be civil and treat each other hospitably, that she does not like people stirring things up or treating each other badly. She may not mind my posts, or she might wish I would limit them in scope and have that blog elsewhere. I’d rather not trouble her or those here. So I’ll shut up and go away, or lurk. Maybe someday I’ll feel like it’s worth posting again, that I’d be welcome and listened to instead of ignored or actively told off. But for now, OK, I’m going, I hope you few folks are satisfied you’ve run me off. I’ll just keep to myself and not bother anyone, and maybe things will get better and maybe it’ll keep on narrowing down to a pinpoint unit there’s nothing left. My life is at a crossroads where I think I have one big chance left, and past that, not much left. I don’t now how I will be able to make t past that if things don’t work out. But by now, I guess I should be used to being alone an ignored. That’s really how I feel.
I’ve had it for now. I might feel better someday and want to be back. But for now, I will either lurk or just go away. To those who have been good friends, including CJ and Jane, thank you all very much. I will miss getting to talk with you all.
OK, you few, I hope you’re proud of yourselves for running off a guy you think is at best inappropriate and at worst, not worth having around or listening to.
I’m sorry I can’t be nicer about it, but you few folks have made me feel terrible several times, and today, I didn’t need this on top of other things. So all right, I’m gone, you’ve had your way. I wonder how you’d feel in my place, or how you’d feel if you knew me. The same, I guess. I’m about as isolated as you can get. Now more so. I hope I can make it somehow. This was a haven in a sea of chaos. I will miss the good people here. But today, again, a few of you have made me feel terrible, and wonder why I ever think I can belong, make friends, and if it’s worth it, or if I should just keep to myself and not bother.
I wish it were different. I’ve had enough. You few folks, you get what you want, but you’ve hurt someone for no good reason. So I’ll lurk, or I’ll just go away and you few won’t miss me, and to others who will miss me being here, thanks, I’m sorry, but this is too much. I’m done.
Your idea about Facebook is too negative, and not accurate. Many hundreds of millions of people find it a good place to be (including CJ). It’s not a toxic place. You can make your profile as open or as closed as you like, and choose who you let in.
The important thing about Facebook is that it will actively help you to build up a network of friends. Facebook itself will keep looking diligently for suitable friends for you, without you having to do much.
It will keep suggesting people that you may know or may want to be friends with, often very accurately. And it will suggest you as a friend to other people. It’s the right way to build up a support network for yourself.
You may be surprised at how many old acquaintances turn up and make contact with you. Facebook is the first place most people look for someone, and almost everyone has a profile there.
This comment is just for Ben. The rest of you can please ignore it.
@BCS, maybe just take a deep breath, step back for a day or two, and let yourself calm down before taking a new look at what is going on.
It’s turned into a screed, so I’m numbering it to help keep track.
1) We understand that you are very lonely and alone, really need a place to vent, and need to feel part of a conversation. The lonelyness and lack of control over your situation, financially, medically and in your living environment is getting to you, and you need the sense of human contact to help stay sane and balanced. This is clear from what you post, and doesn’t impugn your motives or character – your isolation means your need for contact and conversation is great. People understand that.
2) A lot of people on CJ’s blog have, over many years, enjoyed being in a conversation with each other and with you. Remember that, when you calm down from the hurt you are feeling now.
Nobody told you that you should leave forever, and could never participate in another conversation on this blog again.
3) But I can see where the people complaining have a bit of a point, too. If you look back over the years and especially the last months, the conversations here have changed a lot. One reason is that CJ has been posting here a lot less, because of being so busy these last few years, and shifting her focus to Facebook.
I really don’t believe that your posting has “chased her out” of her own blog, she’s fully capable of guarding her own borders on this blog and shutting down things she really doesn’t want here. But because she hasn’t been posting she hasn’t been triggering new and varied conversations on here.
4) I’ve noticed that the conversations on each new post of CJ run actively for a few days, and then they peter out until she gives the conversation a new impulse. As she used to post every few days, the conversation on this blog was lively, interesting, far-ranging and intelligent.
Now she hasn’t got the time to think of things to write here that will prime the pump, that has changed.
5) You have been trying to keep the conversation alive by posting daily, sometimes more than once a day.
The trouble with that is that your own circumscribed living situation naturally means that the conversation then starts to become limited in scope. It reminds me of the time when I was at home alone with one toddler to take care of for a year: after a few months my subjects for conversation dwindled almost entirely to what the baby did today. I quickly noticed that conversational partners had only a limited interest in that subject, and I had to carefully limit the dose of that, and widen my subjects, if I wanted people to stay interested in talking with me.
6) The sort of things you post about, once responses to CJ’s new status-update or subject are exhausted, do not invite people to come up with answers, or with their own examples and suggestions and anecdotes. They are limited to your own experiences (understandably!), and no-one here can really help you with those, except to lend an ear to let you vent, and a lot of people have limited patience for that, even for their best friends.
7) You may have noticed that when you say something that people can agree with or dispute, give concrete advice or useful suggestions on, you do get some responses. When it’s a daily status-update on someone just living their life like we all do, or venting, it mostly turns into a monologue. You’re doing the best you can, but you’re no CJ, and no-one can keep a conversation going if they are the only one speaking.
8) Remember too, that you are not the only one, or even the only person on here, who has troubles with health, finances, landlords or lonelyness. Maybe not everyone can handle your troubles on top of their own.
9) Considering that the hundreds of people who read CJ’s blogposts come here to hear from her, and enjoy the varied conversations here, using her “living room” on the internet as the venue for your monologue/update/venting posts on a daily basis can come across as rather rude. You don’t mean it that way, a lot of us do understand that, you just want to keep the contact and the conversation alive.
But to let you see the other side of this: for those people who are less invested in the other people talking here, and are waiting for their RSS-feed to tell them CJ said something new, following that link day after day to get an update on your life instead of CJs can be a bit of a disappointment, and not what they signed up for.
10) So I can see GreenWyverns suggestion as a workable solution for the daily status-updates: Facebook is in fact meant for just this sort of interaction. People post about their own lives, and Facebook helps them find people who might like to connect with them. This means you don’t need to keep up your own website, where few people come by to visit, so you feel like someone talking to thin air. You can make contact and keep people updated on a widely-used platform where the chance of more people stopping by, and then wanting to hear from you just to hear from you (and not CJ or someone else) is much better.
It might really be worthwhile for you to try it out.
11) This doesn’t mean you can’t post here. But I would suggest you might practise your editing on things you want to write, before you post here.
Write the things you need to vent, and the updates you want to post, in a document on your own machine first. Get them off your chest. Let them sit for a while, several hours at least, or maybe a day or so. Then reread them wearing your editor-hat instead of your authorial/diarist hat. Good practise for the story-writing you are doing / wanting to do!
If you can polish them up to take out most of the repetitive venting, and maybe limit yourself to posting slightly condensed updates once a week, and in between post new things when something (biggish) new happens that others might be interested in (like when you got the new kitten, or when you get the new house) or where others can jump into the conversation (like thinking of names for the new kitten), I think the ones who got irritated will be much happier, and we will still be able to hear from you how things are going with you.
@bcs. I agree with Hanneke’s comments. Point 10 about Facebook is why I’m active there. I’d be happy to have you as a FB friend. FB lets me feel I’m carrying on a conversation. It’s not perfect but it does make it easy to understand where your friends are coming from. And the cat videos are a hoot!
Thank you, Hanneke, both for showing understanding and for being fair.
(Aside to others: I really did get the feeling I was being asked / told not to post, but to leave. If that was not your intention, then I’m sorry, it’s a measure of how hurt and how jumped-on I feel, and because this isn’t the first or even the second time.)
I had a great deal of content on my website, and I have all the files, although I’m not sure of the WordPress backups. It will be a while before I can sit down and get to that. My mental and emotional space and the time to do things are focused on too much else that’s more important.
Facebook, I don’t know. I’ve heard so many times about privacy concerns. Twitter is too frenetic and has other things going on that make it not so appealing to me. I should probably reassess them both. — I like some features of blogs, but I like more the interaction of a for, where everyone can post topics and reply to others. Really, I wish there were a combination of the best ob both.
I’m just plain overwhelmed. I try to stay positive and balanced and keep a sense of perspective and a sense of humor about things, but it’s hard when there are so many roadblocks to even the simplest things, and yes, some are my own makeup.
There may be an opening to take Peppercorn and her kittens, but I didn’t have current photos, and it requires some more from the one shelter once they get my info on the cats, plus I’m looking again for other shelters as possibilities. I am going to miss them, but this has to happen. Things are a little better today with that.
The new kitten is still very much at risk, but doing as well as he can, I think. He’s very needy. He’s also undersized and emaciated and his tummy swells up when he eats even a little; he’s nibbling the food a lot and doing OK on water, making a little progress with the litterbox training, but so little and frail, he can’t really climb up and down on his own yet. He’s trying. He’s feeling enoughh better to want to play and explore a little. He’s an eating machine, but he has a lot to make up for. He sleeps a lot and wants as much attention as he can get, and gets frantic and scared when separated or in the carrier, which has to happen for his safety with the other cats when I open the door to the bedroom. Goober is in the room with us, but is not sold on this tiny upstart who’s getting so much attention and favored places. But Goober has mellowed a little about him, so I’m hoping that works out.
There are two new maintenance issues developing, which I hope are not going to be tough to fix. I am delaying reporting them until I can get the cats given away to a shelter, unless it gets so bad I have to get it done first. Other maintenance has not been fixed for weeks or in some cases, months. I really didn’t need more things that ned to be fixed. (My clothes racks for drying are full, things keep souring, and there’s more waiting to get done. — The garbage disposal stopped, I think I said, it’s affected the unused dishwasher somehow (clogged the same line, I think), and the air conditioner is once again overtaxed due to the highs in the 90’s. Oh joy.Plus existing maintenance items, including ones requiring no entry into the apartment. Just, wow. I just want it to hold together until I can move out, and I don’t want to be blamed for what isn’t my fault. (The A/C, for instance, recurs every year or so.) — I’ve treated the carpets for fleas, the cats are treated, but I’m going to repeat it to be sure. Somehow, probably in air-drying, at least one towel got fleas and made it into the linen cabinet. I found this out when taking care of the kitten, ironically after bathing him. So the kitten and I both had to bathe again. I dried him with paper towels and an old t-shirt. And everything in there is going to be washed again. Ugh. But that should get it done. Ugh. Either they were on something still in the apartment, or came in on me or on some package or jumped from somewhere. Just…aacckk.
I haven’t heard anything new yet about the deal on the new house. I checked with my friend on Friday, so I’m hoping no news is good news.
I’m managing. But I feel so stressed from it all. Trying to keep it reasonable and grounded. (A recent thunderstorm and lightning strike may not have helped the maintenance issues.) — Neighbors have been fighting and the neighbor kids keep running around, including the upstairs neighbors in the middle of the night. Midnight last nigh. Children outside and upstairs. I am down on sleep like a new parent with a new baby.
So… Hoping this week I can get the cats given away, hoping maintenance can get done instead of being ignored as usual, and I hope I can get progress towards my new house, or else find out it has to be something else. But I want out of here. And I’m still not packed and have too much stuff, clothes for instance. Weird. Comes not just from slow laundry, but when things can take a week to dry, it means I have a backlog.
So, going things go OK. I haven’t ordered groceries yet, I’ve been so busy and distracted.
I am going to take a break from posting here. I am undecided about what I’ll do. This was a place I could hang out and join in the conversation on things that are interesting, and let off a little steam, much needed. I really hope that I can make it, and that things will ease up so I don’t stay so keyed up and so isolated.
For now, I’m going to be lurking and thinking over what I want to do.
I miss hearing from CJ too, and yet she’s busy and doesn’t have a chance to post here.
Folks, I’d reiterate one thing: CJ could and would do what she needs and wants to do about managing things here. If she felt anything going on, or any person’s behavior, was a problem, or was cramping her on her own blog, she could and would take care of that quickly. So please don’t imply I, or any of us have “run her off” or are trying to “take over.” I have a distinct feeling she could kick butt and take names with the best of them, verbally and perhaps physically. Both blogs and forums offer tools for site owners, admins, and moderators to manage guests / members and topic threads / blog posts, and reply trees to same. Come on, do you really think she’d put up with junk from anyone in her own place? No. I don’t think so. So please, let’s all step back from that and the other nonsense. And personally, I don’t like feeling picked on or ganged up on and told off. I don’t think any of you would either. I’m just some hapless guy, you know? I’m not perfect; I’m all too awarenesses of some things about myself and probably blissfully oblivious about other things; and I think that’s true of nearly all of us. So uh, before any of us, me included, make a worse mess than there is already, let’s take it easy and think it over before raising a ruckus any more, or picking n a fellow fan. I’m having Avery rough time in my life, without enough support. Sometimes, I’m just kinda holding it together, and sometimes not, and sometimes maybe I do have it pretty together. I don’t want any of us, myself included, to be fussing at each other, and dang it, telling others not to post is overstepping the bounds. We are all guests here. And yes, I have messed up too. Folks, would it surprise you to know I didn’t used to be like this? I’m way off from my former self. I don’t know if I’ll ever get that back, or rather, what I’ll end up being like, if I can ever get though all this going on. So please consider that. I really. really felt like the bottom had dropped out and like I’d been ambushed and jumped, in a place where I felt comfortable and welcome, until that brought it up again. I wouldn’t tell you folks not to post. So please consider that.
Have any of you ever been similarly alone, isolated, without support or friends or avenues to daily needs for any extended length of time? What about during the shutdown? Now imagine someone dealing with that for weeks, months, years. Some of you do have health issues or other factors going on. Doesn’t it ever get to a point where you just need to vent or have contact with another human being? What if, when you try, people (in person or online) just don’t get it? Sometimes, that’s just ordinary everyday living interfering when they might otherwise take time with someone. But sometimes it’s simply, they miss something. Or sometimes it’s a very purposeful overlooking, ignoring, looking right through someone because they don’t click with that other person, or because that other person doesn’t like them or doesn’t want to be bothered, or ten thousand other reasons, some good, some bad. Now what if you experience that enough that you start noticing it’s happening often? It can get to you. People do that sometimes. Most of us experience it now and then. Some of us experience it too often for some reasons we can’t quite pu t a finger on. Or we can guess. It doesn’t feel good to have that happen, to be slighted, either when it’s unintentional, or more especially when it’s purpseful, willful. — Do I do things that contribute to that? Oh, possibly. But I’m just me. I’m as awkward or as polished as the next guy. But I notice it too often and it’s a sore point; it goes all the way back to elementary school. Some people may know what that feels like directly. Soi I may have a hot-button there that I have trouble dealing with. But this put me into a freewill dive for a bit there, before I got back to something better balanced.
I don’t know, folks. I’m so far down the ell that it is hard to remember what it’s like to have a normal life. Yes, my posting shows those symptoms, and likely depression. It may not be overtly apparent, but I think it does show.
Please, those of you who got fed up and sounded off, bear with me. I’m trying to keep my head above water and get back to some semblance of a normal life. I’m going to lose more before I get back to any kind of normal life. I just want to get to that. I hope I don’t lose my eyesight. I don’t know how to deal with that. As someone legally blind since birth, my condition was stable until about 2004 or 2006, and so I found myself unprepared at all to deal with the possibility that I might lose m sight. And I keep digging in my heats and having to push myself to get going on some things, and I do not know why I do that, whether it’s my sight or other factors. My situation is precarious, but for a little while longer, I have a fighting chance to get though things and get back to a better life. I say this so you might have some idea of why my posts are scattered, mixed-up, whatever it might be. I was not always so focused on me and my problems, and I try not to be. Somehow, this got to be a place where I felt I could let down my guard and say how I felt and what was going on, some, and feel like I was getting it off my chest, dealing with it a little, with folks in a space where I got to thinking people understood and were OK with that. But some of you don’t want to hear any of that, you get irritated and think it’s somehow working against CJ’s blog, her efforts. Uh, there’s no such intention here from me. I’m just that out of sorts, and I’d gotten just that out of perspective to mistakenly think it was OK for me to open up here, that it was all right to do so. — So OK, y’all have a point. And yet, jumping on someone and telling him you’re fed up with him and telling him not to post? Y’know, that’s maybe not the best way you folks could have handled that. It’s not ill intent. It’s me thinking I had somewhere with people who were OK with me letting down my guard and letting out what was going on with me; I lost sight of my boundaries. — And understand, in person, in public, I used to never, ever let that guard drop. I have, or had, a very, very thick wall between myself;f and the outside world, even sometimes close friends and family, because of all that I went through growing up and even into adulthood, at school, occasionally at work, even at times when I was in college, and unintended, sometimes at home with family. It is usually a very big deal for me to let down my guard and open up so much. Somehow, being. a caregiver and after, as well as coming out, and being very isolated and in emotional turmoil, I guess, stripped away some of tt, because online, there’s a certain distance and yet a certain intimacy. I don’t know, I’m probably not expressing that well enough to make sense to anyone.
The shrort version of that? I messed up, I’m a mess, I let perspective, and I don’t quite know when I got that far out to sea, adrift in the current, and oping up so much and letting things spill out. Understand too, that writing is for me a way of opening up and expressing that inner and outer me.
So please, have some understanding of where I am coming from, instead of trying to ascribe blame or some ulterior motive on me. I assure you, it’s just hapless fueling around Mental and emotional dog-paddling? Just a mess, but not a malevolent mess.
I didn’t intend to go off on a tangent or rant, and I’m sure there are typos, because I’m way tired and having trouble seeing again today.
I’m just trying to explain, to get it across to folks who were bothered by me.
All right, back to lurking. I still have to figure out how to go from here to where I need to be.
That, and I’ve got things to do, including with the cats and the new kitten.
Take care, everyone. Life’s rough on us all lately. I’m going to lurk and rethink.
Thanks again to Aja Jin for letting me know that CJ’s lack of posts here didn’t mean anything ominous, and that she’s very active on Facebook. Of course I’m now discovering that her Facebook activity, and that of her followers, is overwhelming my ability to keep up!
On another topic, I hope people are staying well and financially afloat during the pandemic. As a retiree, I don’t have to go out in risky situations much, and my income doesn’t rely on a paying job any longer. My most troubling life change at present is that I can’t visit a beloved elderly aunt with cancer who is now in hospice care. I fear that I’ll never be able to spend time with her again.
Ouch, that’s tough for both you and your aunt, NightHawk. Perhaps you can mail her postcards and other letters/cards regularly. The pleasure of receiving them and re-reading them will help both of you feel connected.
The hospice should be able to organize video calls with your aunt. It’s easy to set up a video call on a cell phone or laptop.